punny

i'm enjoying hospital sundays a lot more, now that we actually TALK to one another :) used to be, we'd all just do our own thing and never speak to each other, but group breaks are really nice. "you need to calm the fuck down, girl" hahaha...

got some free coffee @ the cafeteria today and it was pretty good. i'm glad ice water is free.

currently stressing over college apps, gahdangit. polynesian is starting to take over my life again yay :)

drowning drowning drowning

in school and college apps and whatnot

taking everything day by day and it's really not so bad, but I'll admit that I'm a teensy bit stressed right now. there's quite a bit to deal with and it's just a matter of keeping on top of things and doing what I need to do. it's just a lot of work.

polynesian club has its first practice this week. I'm kind of excited but at the same time I gotta breathe a sigh of breathe-slash-exasperation because..

well.
two words:
SEAWEED DANCE



yep. bootylicious wednesdays from now on

ditty

fourth period pretty much made my day today.

"let's write a little ditty"
"... ditty."
"yes."
"... you just said ditty."
"yes I did."
"where have I heard that word before?"
"ummm.."
"-- OHHH aaron carter's 'ditty ditty dum dum'"
it made me laugh : )

sheree told me, "there's no filter between your mind and your mouth today, is there" and that was true... hahahaha blurting out the RANDOMEST shiz during lunch. something was wrong with me, mentally, psychologically, I don't know, maybe I was just tired but dahmmmm weirdness.

currently got some uffie stuck in my head. this is what happens when I listen to music in the morning while getting ready.

I misssss the summer, sleeping in, having fun, mini-adventures, "living" at my second house a.k.a. shannen's house, making memories to pack it all in a nutshell. next summer, we'll all be going our separate ways, which is kind of weird to think about so I just won't think about it hahah.. I can't wait to get out of ayala but at the same time, I'll miss some people.

on a totally different note, I like how I'm taller than some of the freshmen this year :D HAHAHAH

I'm craving boba, why am I craving boba

laaaater gator!

one of those moments

today, a random memory popped up in my head
and it made me smile : ) oh man... it's been a while

"I don't know any cute hospital boys"
"HEY. HEY. HEY."
"oh.. you're not cute. you're BEAUTIFUL!"
"..... wow...."

xDDDD
randoms make my day

updateupdate

I haven't written in this blog thingy for a while.

school's back in! some people I wish I didn't have to see every day but whatever, it's arrrrite : ) schoolwork keeps me very busy and once poly club starts having practices and officer meetings, I think the hours in the day will be completely, totally BOOKED. stuck in AP calculus which I didn't even sign up for, but that's okay... I'll just have to work really hard.

jeffyjeff turned 18 yesterday! I didn't think I was gonna go to his house but at the last minute I figured I might as well, thank goodness everyone was still there :D very relaxed there, cute doggies, half-chihuahua-half-doberman, I DON'T EVEN WANNA KNOW.. hahahaha

"you're acting so offff"
"blame it on the almond gel"
"... blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-almond gel!"
"WOW ALYSSA, THAT WAS WORSE THAN ME"

quite a bit of homework this weekend but it wasn't that bad. new hospital schedules started today! made a couple new friends : ) but the keyboard kept malfunctioning so that was a little awkward when I was playing for people..

I should sleep. goodnight world<3

ps. I would like to announce to whoever's reading this, that thai food is nummy. my mom & grandma got some yesterday and I had the leftovers for lunch/dinner today and it was mm mm good

perhaps

i should update this thing. : )

friday, i had a doctor's appointment in upland for these marks on my leg, woop dee doo. i had hospital at 4 that day, but we still had time to go to the swapmeet in pomona, so we did! :D anddd it was pretty cool. i like how you can get stuff there for sososo cheap compared to other places. the shoes are kind of expensive, but shoes are expensive EVERYWHERE.. got a new top that i like : ) hospital was okay... did half the ldrp menus, yay. cute little babies, awwww.. "magical staircase" hahaha! 100x better than the shower.

saturday, chillaxed in the morning, then sheree's house later on that day with kathleen and sophia. hahaha lots of laughs, and we tainted ading's sheltered mind with sytycd videos... HAHAHA. "let's show her the butt dance!" i had to leave early though : (

sunday, church at st. christophers and the priest saying the mass was the one that always says "B.B.B. blessed beyond belief" and every time he says that i think of ani. O_O hospital later on, yep yep... typical day. i talked to some Deaf people at hospital! great.

monday, went to school for poly meeting and to pick up my registration packet, drove around the parking lot by the great indoors (HAHAHA), then shannen slept over and we made three videos about butt dimples, tagging, fruits, "cool people," school mascots, and other random stuff xD she's actually sleeping on my bed right now as i'm typing this.

yupyup that's about it!

and this is why i don't like blogging about my day most of the time
it gets kinda boring : )
HAHA.

wake up, shannen!

standstill

i tried writing a song last night.

i have two verses and a chorus.

it reminds me of cotton candy.
not normally how i write.
i guess that's what happens
when i try to write a song at midnight.
i should try it more often : )

IT HAS WORDS THIS TIME! hahaha

ahhhhhh still have english AP homework.
it's kind of annoying.
i wonder how senior year will be.

music therapy

makes my day.

today i had to sub for my friend maricris at PVHMC. in all honesty, i wasn't looking forward to it at first-- fridays are almost always my chillaxing days so when i have to actually do stuff i'm all askd;adjadf don't wanna do it.

but she really needed a sub, so i went ahead and agreed to sub.
and i'm so happy i did! : )

one patient's smile can make a world of difference to me. <3

plus today i made a MUSIC BUDDY! awesome stuff.

on a more somber note, i have a dentist appointment tomorrow...
ickyyy

insta-mess memories, part I

a: whats the weirdest dream you've had?
9: i had one about a stripper dancing on a stripper pole
9: but it was not human
a: O_o
a: what was it?
9: it was a waffle
9: it was very strange waking up and realizing i dreamt that
a: HAHAHHSD;FLKAJDSF
a: I FREAKING LOVE YOU
a: HAHAHAHA
9: the waffle was trying to be sexy and rubbing syrup on its "body"

KC (10:35:16 PM): you sound kinda faded.

it happens every time

i'm freaking SICK of this.

i will talk to you about your problems, i will laugh with you, i will cry with you. that's just the kind of person i am, that's how God made me. but every time something's on my mind, every time i need a shoulder to cry on, every time i just need people to be there, i can rarely find someone to turn to.

you guys won't even hear me out. it's like i'm talking to a wall.

to be quite honest i can't stand it here. aside from family, only five people are keeping me here. if it wasn't for them, i don't know what i'd do.

happy birthday

: )

today was pretty nice. hung out with shannen and josh, went to click, had lots of laughs, ahhhh.

kind of sad tonight.
of all the nights for this...
oh well.
hopefully things turn up.

fresh5.

BECAUSE PAUL TOLD ME TO.


okay so this is one of those things

where you write about people
but you don't name them.
then they have fun figuring out who they are,
blahblahblah


OKAY? OKAY! : )


1. we've talked pretty much EVERY DAY during this summer of '09, without fail. if i don't start conversation, you either text me or call me or IM me and i think that's really nice that you keep in touch like that. even when i don't respond you still text me. i've known you since.. seventh grade. wow. hard to believe it was that long ago. back when our hair was a lot different HAHAHA. we've changed since then but one thing that hasn't changed is how we can just have a really freaking RANDOM conversation and neither of us really cares. we've talked about stuff from pedophile traps to dancing to random eighth grade memories to wh0-knows-what. you're my BROTHER despite what your chromosome pairs may say : ) we've had the bestestest talks during choir. my shrink since 8th grade... no short jokes please o; so many codenames. so basically you're my coolcakes and awesomesauce. i love you 'roooo : )



2. we go way back to the DIAPER ERA, no joke, all true, check the family albums if you have a doubt. which i know you don't. you better not. so you're basically a sister to me in a way. i use your bed, and your shower, and your clothes; i eat your food and drink your juice; i raid your pantry; i pretty much LIVE at your house in a way. live without you is simply unimaginable. we kind of play the hate game sometimes but that's because we're close... too close. we've gone through the good and the bad and all that jazz. don't forget, we still need to celebrate our AP scores : ) meg&dia's new album + backyard chillin'. thanks for clapping during the song at PCN even though people gave you weird looks and shiz. okay so i think you should be my maid of honor when i get married. seriously.. and i could be yours at your wedding. wow i'm getting waaay ahead of myself.. but don't you think it would work!? hahah. when we were in our tween years i remember we butted heads a lot. jeeez we could tick each other off. and we still do, but we get over it a lot faster. you're one lucky girl and don't you forget it.


3. hello there your house is pretty much my third home. there were a couple of times when i didn't want to go home yet, so i just got myself dropped off at your place : ) hahaha, remember that one time we did that and "there's only three, alyssa..." hahaha random. i've known you since sixth grade and i'm proud to say i do. you can be kinda shy (and don't wanna go with me to the restroom at lunch sometimes) but that's just part of what makes you, you! remember dbq project? that thing was a killer but i gotta say, i'm glad we were in the same group. thank goodness we had the same class period. you made APUSH a little more bearable. we gotta hang out more during the summer! even though your little brother ticks me off like no other.. hahah jk. but not really. eh he'll mature one day... i think. congrats on making it to women's! you shoulda been there muchhhh sooner ; ) i remember how during sophomore year, i'd go to your house for WEEKS on end so that we could do brodack's homework together.. but your parents never really learned my name, hahaha! lovin' the coffee you give me almost every time i come over even though it makes me get on a high then totally crash.. it's all worth it.


4. HI KUYATITOLOLO so i've known you since fourth grade technically. you were in my seventh grade PE class and eighth grade science class, yeah i remember. we didn't even known each other back then but now we're good friends! amazing right!?!?!? hahah : ) so many memories like hanging out at the shoppes, boba, pillow... which you still make fun of me for. PCN night in the dressing room. "squishy vs. fat" and our infomercial for maglalatik clappers. priceless. and the HEART THING and "occ.. cco.. coc.. -GASP-" aaaaaah man. good times. you're one of those people that i can go to if something's on my mind, and you'll listen to what i have to say. but when we're not having serious conversations, we have downright RANDOM ones. "does this look awkward?" "they're bowing to me!" "there's a man in that car, alyssa.." i think it's kinda weird how we know each other too. i don't know if you remember, but i think the only reason we got back in touch is because i saw you on somebody's myspace one day and i thought 'OH HEY I RECOGNIZE THAT GUY' so i sent you a message saying "you were in my seventh grade CCD!" and... the rest is history : ) thank you modern technology.


5. you can PISS ME OFF, you can CROSS THE LINE, you can basically ANNOY THE HELL OUT OF ME, but you know what? it's funny how at the end of the day, i still consider you to be my best friend. yeahyeah, we've had our ups and downs (you KNOW we've had our downs, and if you don't... that's sad) but that's life. we can't have a perfectly crisp unicorn-and-rainbows kinda friendship, yknoww? we've made SO MANY MEMORIES and i haven't even known you for a year yet, which i find kinda amazing. i'll never forget that day at barnes... ten fingers... sales associate walking by... hahahahahha. wrong impressions which i both love (because i find them funny) and hate (because.. well it's a WRONG impression in more than just one way). like your birthday. what the hell was that. oh well it's all over now : ) hahaha. your butt is a pillow. we still have to complete our summer list of things to do! which isn't even halfway done yet : ( shooooot. okay well ily!



ah screw it. no more. they > you. done deal.

5C

so I finally switched hospital assignments last sunday, june 28.
: )))
women's center info desk to fifth floor.

for those of you who are reading this but have no idea what that was or why it deserved a three-smile happy face, basically I went from a sitting-at-desk-for-three-hours thing to actually coming in contact with patients and stuff. wootwoot!

it was confusing at first, but overall the experience was really good especially for a first day. I had to discharge a patient that must've been twice my weight and THAT was a challenge all its own. I never realized how much walking I would have to do. up and down, up and down, up and down.. I was so tired by the time I left, how pathetic -__-

yesterday, the last day of june, was actually a pretty good day. slept in till one o'clock, picked up by shannen and her mom at 1:40ish, laundromat 'cause their washing machine broke. went to this store called "susie's deals" for the first time and I found a million v-necks : ) starbucks, shannen got a haircut, bought dinner and boba, then shannen taught me how to eat with chopsticks, finally ! ahahaha :D then I stayed up till like 3 in the morning and woke up five and a half hours later.. and now here I am.

22 days till I'm seventeen ! : ))))

It's Happening Again

I want to move back to Cebu.
again.
efffffffffffffffffffffffff

why do I keep gettin relapses of this feeling?



I fucking messed everything up.


too emotional & too empathetic. if I didn't care so much about how my family here would react to me moving back, I'd do it in a heartbeat.

What's Your OCD?

I will count the words you say,
I will count the syllables of the words you say,
I will count the letterstrokes of your phrases when you talk to me,
I will count the letterstrokes of what I read,
I will count the number of letters on signs,
I will count the number of letters in subtitles,
I will count the number of letters in a random word you give me.
I will count almost anything.

I will check to see what direction my brush is facing after I've put it in its drawer.
I will do this four or five times.
I will make sure that whatever happens to my right side, happens to my left.

If something adds up to 10 or any multiple thereof, I consider it 'perfect'.
For example, the word 'OKAY' is perfect.
O = 1
K = 3
A = 3
Y = 3
1 + 3 + 3 + 3 = 10.
But 'okay' is not perfect, because
o = 1
k = 3
a = 2
y = 2
1 + 3 + 2 + 2 = 8.
Capitalization matters.

I will play with numbers.
I will manipulate them in whatever way I see fitting.
For example, my birthday is July 23, 1992.
7/23/1992.
This is what I see:
723/1992, so that I can work with each side.
Then I see 7 / 23 and 19 / 92.
Now there are small numbers to work with.
Taken individually:
7 is still 7.
2 to the power of 3 = 8.
LEFT SIDE IS TAKEN CARE OF.
19? 9 - 1 = 8.
9 - 2 = 7.
RIGHT SIDE IS TAKEN CARE OF.
Now if you put that all together, in the same order.
7887.
It is a palindrome now and I am satisfied.

When I count syllables, I envision a square split into four equal parts.
Each one "holds" a syllable.
Two cycles: vertical and horizontal.
It helps me tell whether there is an even or odd number of syllables.
I have counted syllables since I was six years old.

I can't study with music playing.
I will end up counting the beats in the song,
envisioning the notes,
and analyzing dynamics.


You can count on me [; LAME WORDPLAY.

What's YOUR OCD?

No Anesthesia

today I went to the dentist.

holysmokes, I do not like the dentist. nononono. which kinda sucks because I have to go back in about a week -___- here's the breakdown:

mmkay, so I get there, sign in, blahblahblah, wait my turn. I get in there and they gag me with the x-ray thing that gets shoved in your snapper. mmm, yummy. then we did the whole cleaning session, no big deal. took more x-rays after. I thought we were done.

oh, NO SIRREEEE

they decided to change my fillings.
thank you dentistry.

so they gave me a choice: with an anesthesia shot, or without.

if you don't know already, syringes/needles scare the effin' bonanza outta me. I'm no psychiatrist, but personally I categorize it as a "phobia." my reactions to shots aren't on the high end of the phobia-o-meter, but mentally I'm going bonkers. I don't know why I freak out, I just know I do, and that's that. it's gotten better lately but eh.

anyway... no anesthesia, and they were drilling little dents into my teeth.
replacing the old fillings and whatnot.
the area still hurts.
meep.

the same thing will happen later this week, perhaps.
oh the fun I shall have -___-


i think i'm gonna get ready for bed now.

GOODNIGHT,
& FLOSSFLOSSFLOSS ! :D

So Far Away

right now, I really miss cebu. yeahyeah, I know I say that more often than not, so by now I probably sound like some whiny adolescent, but every time I say it, I mean it.

I'm not trying to underestimate anybody, but unless you've been through the same thing, I don't know if you can really understand what I think and feel whenever I go through these bouts of missthephilippines-itis. I'll be fine one minute, then all of a sudden something will trigger my memory/feelings and boom.

for example: half an hour ago, I was browsing Facebook. no big deal, right? it's always the same--get rid of those pesky notifications that clog up after a while, maybe scroll down to see what's up with my friends, once in a while I'll change my little status thing.

normal stuff.

but while I was checking stuff out, I saw that my cousin had been tagged in a bunch of "first/second day of school" photos at CIE, a school in cebu. and even though it had a sort of stalker-ish quality to it, I checked the photos out. all of them, actually.

as I went from photo to photo, most of the time I wasn't even focusing on the people in them. the details were what caught my eye. I'd look out the window of the photo, staring at the background, looking at the building outside and the hills in the distance and remembering. There'd be a picture of two girls in front of a blackboard making silly faces for the camera, but I'd be reading the assignment written in white chalk. There was a picture of my cousin's class, playing a little game, but my attention was on the posters and decorations on the wall.

about a week ago, I went out with some friends to eat, and somehow the conversation came to a point where I was asked, "which is better, america or the philippines?" without missing a beat, I answered "philippines."

"why?"

at the time, I answered "it just is"
but now that I have a chance to think about it,
I wonder why I feel that way.

SO MANY TIMES, even though I don't really say it out loud, I wonder what it'd be like if I had had my way two years ago. two years ago, I visited my dad in Cebu for the first time in seven years, and I missed the people and places so much that I wanted to stay for good. get my education there and everything. my dad was all for it, but my mom (for obvious reasons) was waaaay against it. I did NOT want to take that plane back, I was crying the entire way because I missed my family so much. my parents and I had reached an agreement that I would go back to california for a month or so, and once things had settled down I'd be able to go back depending on the circumstances.

during the "hiatus," my family in california kept persuading me NOT to go.
"I've done so much for you, and you're thanking me by leaving me?"
"Your mom's done so much for you all by herself. If I was her, I don't think I'd have been able to do the same thing."
blehblehbleh..

I don't want to think about the details, so long story short, eventually I wasn't able to go back.

more or less, I've come to terms with that. but honestly, sometimes I wonder what it'd be like to be back home. what if I had fought so hard for my way, that I had gotten it? would I miss my friends here in california? (at the time, when I wanted to stay in cebu, it's kind of sad but my friends held NO persuasiveness whatsoever. none. I didn't feel like I'd miss them at all.)

what would be different?

there's no way of describing this feeling. now that I'm here for good (I think?), I'm plagued with questions for myself: what did I miss? what's going on in cebu right now? if I had stayed, what would have happened? there's no way of knowing now--one more year of high school left, and leaving my senior year is beyond lame. and similarly, I wonder about the idea that if I HAD gotten my way, would I MISS my life here?

my sophomore and junior years in high school have been filled with so many blessings.
sophomore year: the year that I grew close with two of the greatest girl friends anybody could ever have.
junior year: the year I met my best friend, and I'm not just throwing words around.

those three alone make me thankful that I ended up coming back.

still, I can't help but wonder.
what would have happened?

ACLAN Clan Cousins<3

these people are the loves of my life, the chocolate chips in my cookie, the best of the best of the best. :D

i miss them. all my kuyas and ates. and the littles ones too of course ! this picture isn't of all of us cousins, since there were a few that couldn't make it, but it's a pretty good chunk of 'em. you can SO tell that we're related, not only by picture but (if you've ever seen us all in real life) by the way we are. our personalities, our talents, us. i don't see them that often, unfortunately--except for shannen, but she was a given--but when i do, it's almost always a party ! LITERALLY. shannen and i are the only ones that live in california, everyone else lives in the philippines or texas or new jersey so the only time they ever visit is when there's a huge family event.

V V V my cousin > your cousins

ahhhhh, memories.. we just decided to sing "seasons of love", SPUR OF THE MOMENT. i was the one who said "oy!" at the beginning and everyone made fun of me -__-; hahaha & i'm on piano too. this video pretty much personifies who we are as a family. i can't wait till we get to do something like this again.

mahal kita <3

6.16.09

today (well, technically yesterday now that it's the wee hours of wednesday morning), i definitely managed to keep myself verrrry busy [: first of all, paul came over and we had a "wilderness adventure." not really, more like i got us lost for a little while... heh. oops

weird conversations, as usual. my legs kinda hurt right now for some reason. after going around, we came back to my house and ATTEMPTED to camwhore.. i say attempted, because since neither of us do that very much, it took us twenty tries just to get the camera aimed right. and there's one video but i think it embarasses him [: "meeeow" wowww. i think he fell asleep on my text. yeeeesh -__-;

food 4 less, michaels, staples, dollar tree, tuesday morning, bank, 99 ranch, coldstone. all in all today was pretty okay.

SLEEEEP !

negative one

PAuLM TRhEE: DID I GET
PAuLM TRhEE: +1 ALYSSA POINTS
hoy alyssa: yeah you got +2
PAuLM TRhEE: oh snap!
PAuLM TRhEE: wats the scoreboard now
hoy alyssa: negative 1
PAuLM TRhEE: oh jeez

you lose :D

last day of school

was pretty alright, actually. [:

the time when i was at school was just going through the motions one last time. usually i feel really nostalgic and stuff on the last day of school, but yesterday felt normal. after sixth period (a.k.a. last class ever of junior year!) i went with some people to that korean restaurant by albertsons. bahahahaha kenneth's pet shrimp that customers kept stepping on. i met felicia for the first time yesterday and i think we got along pretty well [: hope to hang out with her during the summer, she's a pretty chill girl.

i kept having to spear my food with my chopsticks because i'm not very good at using them, so eventually a fork was needed. if i hadn't received one, i'd have taken three hours to finish that bulgogi, which i didn't even end up finishing anyway, but still. apparently paul can't play the serious game with me because it's too hard -__- HAHAHA, four seconds in and he lost. i spilled water all over my section of the table, what a klutz.

then after lunch (note to self: i owe paul $1.61, thanks for spotting me) i went to the library to wait for kenneth to pick me up again so that he could give me a ride to PVHMC. i changed into my uniform in the library restroom, and while i was taking my earrings out and changing my shoes and putting my hair up, these three little kids kept watching me O.O so curious.

after hospital i went to kathleen's house and saw SOPHIA SUN for the first time in a while. she me angela and tiffany went to click [; jeeez we spent forever in that decoration booth. good times good times.

i hope this summer is a good one <3

weeeeew !

today was great. polynesian club banquet this year, awww... i'm gonna miss the seniors. but next year's gonna be THE best, guaranteed. [: 2009-2010 public relations officer, yeeey !

then after banquet i went to paulm trhee's house to do a bit of GC stuff. hahaha we scared ourselves silly with that 'psycho' video. WTF WAS THAT THING. AND HE STARTED ACTING POSSESSED. WHYYYYYYY. -__- last GC this year... i'ma miss all those funny times and memories, esp. the first GC when we didn't know what the heck we were doing and it took us forever to figure out how to burn a video onto a dvd... good times.

now i'm at home.
[:

ps. hedgehogs are adorable. look them up on google images & squeal w/ delight

aggravation

for future reference: when i get my monthy punctuation, it's best to just NOT get on my nerves. don't even try to see how far you can go. you won't.

today, poly officer speeches and voting for 2009-2010 took place. i'm running for public relations this year, hopefully it works out. if not, that's fine too i guess. it's all in God's hands so i won't be too disappointed.

poly banquet is this saturday...........
I'M GOING TO MISS THE SENIORS A LOT
]:

after voting and stuff, (part) of my gc group filmed scene 3. i wanted to punch something/someone in the face for almost the entire time and BEING IN PUNCTUATION MODE DID NOT HELP A BIT. ooohhhhh my goodness just be there next time so that i stay sane. erica kept me somewhat sane but if i had been stuck there with the other two only..... hahahaha good things would not come out of it.

mmkay. angry alyssa subsides. [:

awwwww the commercial with the "i think that possibly maybe i'm falling for you" song is on. nice song nice song.

a certain friend of mine decided to dress up and dance like michael jackson the other day and omgah he is just insane... but in a good way! i think. puts the spice in life. i'd like to rewind to november, before everything just began spewing all over the place. ah well, change is inevitable and it's just part of life, i'm just really bad at getting used to it /: times, they are a-changing.

RANDOMOSITY

at its very best.

so yesterday was pretty normal more or less ... until the clock struck 6:30 pm
then EVERYTHING just went weee-wooo and i got stuck in a vortex of weirdness

met up with some family from cebu, 'cause they were staying in hollywood and ohhh, my goodness, that place was packed o___o plus there were a whole bunch of proms going on. heard some pretty cool stories, took pictures with a hustlin scooby doo (NOT EVEN KIDDING, HE TRIED TO WEASEL MONEY OUT OF US ]= there go my childhood memories.. he had an accent by the way !), saw a prostitute, you know... the usual

watched a show called 'the haunting' yesterday and lemme tell you, that was some freaky shit. they edit it so that it's 5x scarier than it really should be -__- it was about this 15 year old boy that got possessed and ohboyyy.. yeah that's all i'll say.

on the subject though, i DO believe in those kinds of things. supernatural, paranormal sort of things; i believe that spirits exist and all that; there's too much that my family has told me about for me that NOT believing would be very very difficult. laugh if you want. but wouldn't YOU like to think that when we die, we don't just go *poof* and fall off the face of the earth? [:

let's convers8 sometime about this. i could go on for a good half an hour or so on this subject alone

this is kind of out of nowhere, but 'golden girls' is actually kinda funny in a weird, old folky humor sort of way. the first time i came across it, i was in fifth grade and i was like "um, why are there all these old white people on the tv screen" but now that i can appreciate the humor, i kinda like it. hahahaha of all the shows...

ps. fiiiiiinally got meg & dia's latest album last night ! ;D can't wait to listen to it.

bad day

that's all i'm gonna say. this will all try to be sorted out on monday.

today did NOT go well, something happened in every single period.

i have hospital tomorrow, then church
then AFTER that, i'm going to see my aunt, uncle, and cousins from cebu <3
EXCITEDDDD !
antoni's interesting to talk to,
thia's my girl,
and i remember ino from when he was a little baby.
i wonder if ilka came along, that'd be cool if she did [=



taking everything one day at a time.

sick

this is just freaking ridiculous.

I've been getting sick for the past week or so.
last week it was a fever + sore throat
and now it's a headache + stomachache,
emphasis on the headache.

It's sporadic; basically it doesn't hurt every single waking moment,
and it's not like it's a migraine where it constantly throbs.
I'll be okay one minute, and then all of a sudden it pulsates.
it's been at the same spot since yesterday, and now there's another spot.
if I touch the spot, it hurts.
I didn't hit my head, and it isn't a bug bite
hoping this is a sinus thing.

I feel like shiiiiiitake mushrooms right now

keeping pace.

I don't know what's up with my teachers.. AP testing is over, we should be resting! What is all this slaving over things that we're never going to use in the future -___- the only thing that has a point doing is the career project, which everyone has to do at some point anyway

but enough about that, it's a damper.

so last night, I figured out that I should NOT communicate with people when it's past 1 in the morning. I think I come across as incredibly delirious and if they didn't know any better, they'd think I was high or something ]= which I am not.

I feel like I'm drifting away from people
but I guess this is how I find out who my true friends are

poly banquet is on the 6th of june, woot woot !

I woke up having a hard time breathing, so I took some medicine and now I feel like I'm going to head-slap the keyboard. aksdjf;jdkf; whyyy D;

sigh.... I think I'll eat breakfast now.

Luau and a Birthday

May 16, 2009 is by far one of the best days of this month, possible of this entire year.

Yeahyeah, it was Paul's birthday. Good job, seventeen years of living, woot woot, keep those lungs a-breathin'. May you have many more to come.

It was also luau. Honestly, I cannot even explain how much time and effort it took everyone. Officers practically lived at school during pre-luau week, members stayed for practices every single day, but it was well worth it.

I'm really sad it's over. ]= We rehearse and rehearse and rehearse, then it all culminates to that moment on the floor then it's all over.

A bit of commentary on last night:

Tama Toa (Opening): Rally dance. Ohmygosh. Hahahah and we thought we'd never have to do it again.. we looked like peaches and cream. Good times. I wouldn't be able to tell you how many times we ran through this dance before rally, we did it so many times that I gave up counting. And considering my little obsessive-compulsive counting habit, the fact that I gave up on counting is kinda amazing. INITIAL VELOCITY, BINOCULARS, & BLING BLING were our formation names, hahahahaha I won't ever forget that.

Girls Auana: I choreographed this [= SO MANY MEMORIES WITH LISA KO-KO PUFF BECAUSE OF THIS DANCE. On a really hot day when we were dancing in the sun and becoming delusional: "Fleh flah floo fl... sorry guys, I can't count" Memories memories memories. I'm going to miss those days. I remember when we first started talking, that one officer meeting on a Tuesday when we had to rip fabric for pareo belts, and we started talking about old movies and musicals and then we started singing "Good Morning" and then our friendship just snowballed from there. I'm kinda going off track, but it felt good seeing that these girls were dancing something that I put the moves to. I don't know, I felt accomplished or something.. corny no?

Maori Entrance: Okay, so Desiree and I haven't done this dance together since, what, elementary school? Junior high? Good times good times GOOD TIMES! Ashley and Melinda were dancing in the audience, heheh. And poi balls was fun. [=

Couples Tahitian: That was the first time I've ever done a couples dance for Polynesian Club, and it was fun, once I got over the fear of being dropped xD Seriously though, Chaz is an amazing dancer and choreographer, and the Couples Tahitian number was honestly one of my favorite dances of the entire luau. I hope someone was able to tape it, because I sure wasn't. Obviously. Hahaha, the day of luau, the officers were prepping pretty much the entire time before it started, from around 8 to 5 nonstop, and we didn't eat lunch because we were busy rehearsing. "Well, if I faint during Couples Tahitian, then at least my partner can carry me out or something." WHERE IN THE WORLD LISA AND I GET THESE IDEAS, I HAVEN'T A CLUE.

Officers Dance: Challenging for me to memorize because I think we learned it the week of luau, but I think we pulled it off pretty well, more or less. I practiced this dance so much backstage, you have no idea. The costume was pretty nice too. I never knew it was possible to wear that. This club has taught me so many ways to wear stuff, it's great.

Finale: Props to Katrina for choreographing this. Awesome stuff. Hahahah, when we went to Jenna's house to learn it, there was this HUGE spider and she tried to kill it with Orange-Glo, so that corner of the house smelled really citrus-y for a while. Mouth drumming, "Dun-duh-duh-dun-dun -- dun-duh-dun!" "It's like choir!"

Great job to all the members and a big mahalo to them for being part of the club and putting so much time and effort into luau. Without the members, there IS no club. I'm going to miss all the seniors, no joke. ]= After luau last night, most of the senior officer girls were crying. And when people cry, I tend to cry, and it's a miracle that I was able not to. I am going to MISS THEM.

What in the world am I going to do without Lisa Ko, the only person who was actually able to understand my weirdness... HAHAHAHA. I think I'm going to miss her the most.

5.16.09 <--- THE BEST.

if quizzes are quizzical,

then tests are .. never mind o_o;

okay so yesterday we had our APUSH exam, and I am SO GLAD it's over
you have no idea.
oh my goose.

whether I passed or not is another story, but hey, at least I tried
paul was being a douche -__-
& I know he's going to read this eventually;
so paul, if you're reading this, then uhmmm
you're still my bestfriend,
but PUH-LEASE act accordingly
so that I don't end up biting your head off one of these days
especially when I'm PMSing, yeah?
=D

luau practice every day next week,
SWEET MOTHER OF PEARL TAKE ME NOW
it's not that I don't like luau
(I kinda HAVE to like it, hahaha .. but really, it's great)
it's just that the practices leave me freaking tired
as in
REALLYREALLYREALLYREALLYTIRED.

I performed on that concrete slab on thursday.
that was .. interesting
I kinda wish I didn't have to, but oh well
it's not that I get stage fright
but, well, it's school.

on another note, shannen's paternal side of the family
makes REALLY GOOD DINNER hahaha !
I don't know how to pronounce half the things I ate on thursday
I think it was something like
uh
sang chu ssam
if you're korean and you're reading this, I'm really sorry if I messed that up
o_____o;

so I'm really tired right now
and I have to go to poly practice
then hospital
then church at st. madeleine

ooooooooohboy.

Where's Paul-do?

if you look really closely, maybe you can actually find him

HAHAHAHA YOUR HEAD IS A GARBAGE BAG

enjoy, mister rhee.

I took this picture four and a half months ago [;

The art of losing myself

in bringing You praise.

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades

Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame

my heart and my soul, I give you control

Consume me from the inside out

Let justice and praise become my embrace

To love You from the inside out

So I'm getting confirmed this Saturday. & I'm pretty excited about it. =]

I mean, it's not like I feel like throwing confetti in the air, but I'm deffffinitely looking forward to it. I can't really explain why. If I tried to, it'd sound really boring--I go to church, the bishop confirms me under my saint's name, badabing-badaboom-tahdah-CONFIRMED.

But it's so much more to me than that.

Basically I'm confirming my beliefs as a Catholic, and I guess that's the part that I'm looking forward to.

I don't know, it's just something that I can't put to words. <3

girl's day out.

not quite.

okay so I went to polynesian today, what else is new.
then I went to paul's for a project thing.

that took us about an hour, then we got a basic outline done of what we had to do.
then we went outside and talked.

it's amazing what we can pack into 45 minutes O_O
he's a great friend, he tells it like it is
even if it's not what I want to hear.
if you're reading this, paul, and I know you are,
BESTFRIENDSFOREVERRR!
however long forever is.
hopefully as long as they say it is.

I see a fresh new door, and I'm gonna open it =]

I really want to watch some filipino movies but I don't have any
except for one that I've watched 4854321687 times practically
and the one with sharon cuneta but I want to watch that with family.

awgghhhghghh!

meg & dia are gonna be in pomona this june =]
I wanna go.
let's.

Pensive

so I fell asleep at around 7, woke up around 12:30 and now I can't fall back asleep. went online, took APUSH online quizzes (and failed miserably, highest score was a 70%), read paulm trhee's bloggies (they're pretty amusing/deep most of the time) and now here I am, typing-typing-typing. omfgah so much stuff to do ..

this week was pretty much hell week, what with DBQ project and all. but it made for some pretty good times.

a: is that a man or a beaver?
k: that's a woman ..
p: that's so sad !

& paulm trhee's story about the mice or whatever going into the lake/river/whatever body of water it was awesome possum. "it's a family tradition" now can I get an AWWWW.

& k's "beaver fascination" HAHAHA !

mmmyeah. I don't miss the project but I do miss the people.
even though I see them pretty much every day.

uhmmm YOU BETTER TAKE CARE OF THAT BRACELET =]
so that if it breaks, it breaks with dignity
sorry if it makes you look like a gay diva.

Cebu

I want to be there right now.
anywhere but here. I miss it there.

the standards are just so different, and over there I don't feel any pressure to contort myself just to fit into society's mold of what's this and that and the other. it's just myself; I don't need to worry about myself about how I'm perceived.

if you ever want to give your daughter an inferiority complex, send her to America. it'll do the job.

are you ready? LET'S GO.

I have quite a bit to do by may...

APUSH and english AP don't usually clash with each other, but when they do, it is chaos. physical chaos, mental chaos, emotional chaos, take out my innards and write "ASDFKJL;" on them, why don't you. GC due in, what, two weeks and paul thinks we're screwed. I wish I could disagree but I have to admit, the guy is right; we need to crank this video out as fast as we can. not to mention the thousand-point APUSH project along with all that other english work.

but life is good :) so I'm not complaining, per se. just venting.

I pretty much lived with shannen yesterday and today. that girl is a strong one.

ummmm yeah what else is there to say? I've been getting kind of ticked off lately, I don't know why, maybe I'm hormonal or something, who knows. aaaagh and KUYA WON'T TELL ME!

my head itches.
scratchscratchscratch.
:[

A Blog Dedicated to Paul Rhee

because a stroke of inspiration hit me this evening.

okay, so technically I've "known" this guy since seventh grade since we had our first two classes together, but I have absolutely no recollection of him whatsoever. even though apparently we both did our persuasive essay/presentations on wanting dogs. o_O

okay so fast-forward about three years, and this boy ends up in my PE class. i knew who he was through other people, and he seemed SO DAMN FAMILIAR but did i realize why? of course not. so i went through the entire year being intimidating by him (along with all the other big bad sophomore boys, ahahaha) and oy. the only thing he ever talked to me about that year was his shark shirt. when he asked me about the little circle things. and um. yes.

fast forward a few months. we end up going to the same study session at K's house, and the first thing i say is "hey, you were in my PE class" and he just kinda nods and says "yeah" and thanks for such an enthusiastic hello after not seeing me for two months, paul. hahaha no worries we didn't even talk yet.

then a few days later school OFFICIALLY STARTED, and i was like asjkdfhadwerllkk what do i doooo i don't know anybody. then in second period, who would walk in but paul rhee?

and i said "hi paul!"

just kidding i don't remember what i said. probably said hi though.

you better have said hi back D<

second period came and went, then we all traversed to third period, which was so freaking hard for third period APUSH to find because i don't think we knew it was in the back portables -___-; so we were all going around the language portables trying to find the room. and i saw him and i asked what his third period class was and he said APUSH and i was like "hey i have APUSH too!" and we both scurried around, searching for the room.

we found it eventually of course. that'd be kinda sad if we still have no idea where it is.

and then APUSH became a time for manymanyMANY conversations, as well as the walk to APUSH. there was one time when i was talking to him and then he silently broke off to go to the restroom but he didn't tell me so i was STILL talking to him, gesticulating and all, boy was that embarassing.

in AP english, i am now sandwiched between him and his cherrylicious friend named cherry and it makes for quite a grand time. we have many grand conversations, including an actual grand conversation. those memories we've made are absolute GOLD, gold like bling bling (in the words of paul rhee) and oh my freaking gosh WHY DID YOU DO THATTTT x____x

okay anyway. a list of things that only he would understand:

vertical line game

10 fingers (with some Divine intervention?)

windows... paintings...

ELBOWS ON TABLE OMFG I DON'T LIKE YOU

wee lads

vegas showgirls

"God has a cellphone?"

"you be good boy and do like lola tells you to do"

deep conversations

and ughhh there's SO MUCH MORE BUT I CAN'T FIT IT ALL ON HERE

bestfriends till ever !

10:25 PM EDIT

okay so i just remembered some more stuff i could add on here.

we were playing 10 fingers for the first time (or at least, i was) at barnes & noble sometime in early november, and OH WAS THAT EVER INTERESTING. and i wore his jacket and it fit me like a dress. andd there was this one time when he was tecktoniking at the shoppes and this one car passed by and went HONKKKKKKKK! and then these two girls came up to him and asked him "do you rave?"

do you rave.

oh my gosh.

i think i died.

and there was that one time when i kept asking for hugs

but then again that's every day isn't it

OH OH OH OH OH

AND THE FAKE CIGARETTE INCIDENT

GOTTA LOVE THE IRONY!

and and hmm..

we have to do the following

1. have a sleepover

2. crossdress (HAHAHA nobody could understand)

3. watch ratatouille

4. go to disneyland

5. eat chicken pot pie

6. vegas showgirls? (tentative)

i'm sure there's more to this list.

i can talk to this boy about virtually ANYTHING. honestly, there's not one topic i can think of that i would be uncomfortable approaching him with. in some ways, perhaps he is like an informal therapist. there's one thing i've talked to him about that i haven't talked about to anybody else except for the obvious and.. oy.

MORE TO COME ! :]